Establishing and anchoring into
our own bodies and in our own power is a beautiful benefit of healthy
independence. No longer are we waiting to be ‘rescued’. We have become the Lover,
Healer and true Source to ourselves.
This is known as becoming ‘healthily authentic’. From this place we start showing up in life as ourselves. No longer do we sell ourselves out to the fear of rejection or abandonment. No longer do we try to win approval by being everything someone else wants us to be in order to be accepted.
When we become healthily independent we become very comfortable to show and shine our True Self to life and others, knowing that we do have the power to speak up if something is not right, lay boundaries and not personalise anyone else’s values that don’t align healthily with our own.
We start to realise that we do have the power to generate and create our own truth in life.
Something astounding begins to happen in our life when we do this – we create a platform of a magnetic and powerful invitation for other people to show up as their True Selves too.
Then we start attracting and co-creating relationships of true intimacy – which is ‘I share my inner self with you, and you share you inner self with me’. This is the way Law of Attraction operates and will do no less.
The next level of our development is creating healthy interdependency.
This is where we continue to shine our greatest truth of Who We Really Are, and know it is safe to do so, regardless of what other people in our ‘light’ do or don’t choose to do.
This grants us the ability to connect with an open heart and still know that we are anchored in our body and able to take care of ourselves.
Healthy interdependency is about being able to generate evolutionary outcomes. Knowing that the very basis of differences can be the true creation of powerful synergies between people.
We have the ability to not only transcend our own lives, we can also powerfully touch the lives of others, and create powerful, real and loving heartfelt connections.
When we truly value ourselves we remain open to grow and learn. We realise that we may not always be completely right. We know that other people may also have very valid viewpoints that are worthy.
This of course is never to be confused with not honouring ourselves in the face of abuse. What it does mean is that we can allow other people to have an opinion and a viewpoint, and even if we don’t necessary agree we can honour it as worthy and important for them.
The more openhearted we are, the more we grant ourselves access to further expansion and learning about life, ourselves and the world.
Most importantly we have healed ourselves enough to know we don’t need to be triggered, defensive or reactionary if someone doesn’t agree with us. We can be so anchored in our bodies and openheartedness that we know we won’t lose ourselves, our values and our ‘hold’ in life if we are challenged or disagreed with.
We also know that we can speak honestly and from our inner truth, in order to speak up for clarifications, more understanding and our needs if necessary.
In this calm place of our own inner anchoring we can easily realise when something is unhealthy, and / or abusive and say “no” without having to justify, explain ourselves or change another person’s viewpoint regarding our motivations or Who We Are.
We know that our existence and self-approval is no longer reliant on this.
This is known as becoming ‘healthily authentic’. From this place we start showing up in life as ourselves. No longer do we sell ourselves out to the fear of rejection or abandonment. No longer do we try to win approval by being everything someone else wants us to be in order to be accepted.
When we become healthily independent we become very comfortable to show and shine our True Self to life and others, knowing that we do have the power to speak up if something is not right, lay boundaries and not personalise anyone else’s values that don’t align healthily with our own.
We start to realise that we do have the power to generate and create our own truth in life.
Something astounding begins to happen in our life when we do this – we create a platform of a magnetic and powerful invitation for other people to show up as their True Selves too.
Then we start attracting and co-creating relationships of true intimacy – which is ‘I share my inner self with you, and you share you inner self with me’. This is the way Law of Attraction operates and will do no less.
The next level of our development is creating healthy interdependency.
This is where we continue to shine our greatest truth of Who We Really Are, and know it is safe to do so, regardless of what other people in our ‘light’ do or don’t choose to do.
This grants us the ability to connect with an open heart and still know that we are anchored in our body and able to take care of ourselves.
Healthy interdependency is about being able to generate evolutionary outcomes. Knowing that the very basis of differences can be the true creation of powerful synergies between people.
We have the ability to not only transcend our own lives, we can also powerfully touch the lives of others, and create powerful, real and loving heartfelt connections.
When we truly value ourselves we remain open to grow and learn. We realise that we may not always be completely right. We know that other people may also have very valid viewpoints that are worthy.
This of course is never to be confused with not honouring ourselves in the face of abuse. What it does mean is that we can allow other people to have an opinion and a viewpoint, and even if we don’t necessary agree we can honour it as worthy and important for them.
The more openhearted we are, the more we grant ourselves access to further expansion and learning about life, ourselves and the world.
Most importantly we have healed ourselves enough to know we don’t need to be triggered, defensive or reactionary if someone doesn’t agree with us. We can be so anchored in our bodies and openheartedness that we know we won’t lose ourselves, our values and our ‘hold’ in life if we are challenged or disagreed with.
We also know that we can speak honestly and from our inner truth, in order to speak up for clarifications, more understanding and our needs if necessary.
In this calm place of our own inner anchoring we can easily realise when something is unhealthy, and / or abusive and say “no” without having to justify, explain ourselves or change another person’s viewpoint regarding our motivations or Who We Are.
We know that our existence and self-approval is no longer reliant on this.
Who Do You Want To Be And Who Do You Want To Attract?
To be the inner powerful
generator of your dream life after narcissistic abuse it is essential to know yourself. If you
don’t know who you are, what is important to you and what values you require to
create your great life, you are going to be stabbing in the dark.
Whenever we are not clear about Who We Are, other people can easily mould and manipulate us into who they want us to be.
I highly recommend writing yourself a list. Think of what is important to you in life.Who are you – really? What do you put your effort, time, energy and money into? If you are not happy with your life right now, and if you could imagine your dreamlife ...
What would you put you time, energy, effort and money into?
When we wish to start manifesting our dream life, we need to understand this –We must be a match for what we want to create and receive.
For myself, letting go of being a workaholic and living in my head, and yet wanting deeper and more authentic connections – I had to take a good look at myself. Was work alone what I really wanted? No it wasn’t! I was using that addiction to avoid the pain.
What I really wanted was deeper, more intimate and loving relationships – firstly with myself and then of course with others.
This was an enormous part of my healing journey, to face and heal the anxieties and pain that were driving my addictive nature, and to then go deeper into the space of loving and accepting myself and then connecting healthily with others with an open heart.
In order to have an open heart, I had to get very clear about what was my truth and what wasn’t.
I knew that a big part of this was to get very clear about the type of pursuits, energy and people who weren’t my truth. So that whilst being authentically myself I could say “no” to these things from a position of powerfulness and grounded calm solidness.
And I firmly needed to become the attributes that I wanted to experience from life and others.
I’d like you to make a list of the attributes you DON’T wish to align with and experience from others:
Example:
Dishonesty, Pretences, Judgment, Adultery, Irresponsibility, Anger.
Now make a list of the attributes you wish to align with and experience from others:
Example:
Honesty, Authenticity, Acceptance, Loyalty, Self-responsibility, Compassion.
Keep this list somewhere safe and refer to it often. You may even want to add or remove attributes from the list over time.
Now let’s have a look at this important exercise...
Whenever we are not clear about Who We Are, other people can easily mould and manipulate us into who they want us to be.
I highly recommend writing yourself a list. Think of what is important to you in life.Who are you – really? What do you put your effort, time, energy and money into? If you are not happy with your life right now, and if you could imagine your dreamlife ...
What would you put you time, energy, effort and money into?
When we wish to start manifesting our dream life, we need to understand this –We must be a match for what we want to create and receive.
For myself, letting go of being a workaholic and living in my head, and yet wanting deeper and more authentic connections – I had to take a good look at myself. Was work alone what I really wanted? No it wasn’t! I was using that addiction to avoid the pain.
What I really wanted was deeper, more intimate and loving relationships – firstly with myself and then of course with others.
This was an enormous part of my healing journey, to face and heal the anxieties and pain that were driving my addictive nature, and to then go deeper into the space of loving and accepting myself and then connecting healthily with others with an open heart.
In order to have an open heart, I had to get very clear about what was my truth and what wasn’t.
I knew that a big part of this was to get very clear about the type of pursuits, energy and people who weren’t my truth. So that whilst being authentically myself I could say “no” to these things from a position of powerfulness and grounded calm solidness.
And I firmly needed to become the attributes that I wanted to experience from life and others.
I’d like you to make a list of the attributes you DON’T wish to align with and experience from others:
Example:
Dishonesty, Pretences, Judgment, Adultery, Irresponsibility, Anger.
Now make a list of the attributes you wish to align with and experience from others:
Example:
Honesty, Authenticity, Acceptance, Loyalty, Self-responsibility, Compassion.
Keep this list somewhere safe and refer to it often. You may even want to add or remove attributes from the list over time.
Now let’s have a look at this important exercise...
What Fears Do You Have Around Being Interdependent?
It can be very hard to just
‘move forward’ into the new energy we would like to create for ourselves, when
we are still anchored in a wounded inner part of ourselves. In fact in some
cases, if the wound (fear) is significant enough, it can be impossible to do.
This is why it is so important to unearth what that wound (fear) is. The way we shift out of previous limiting beliefs and defences, which certainly aren’t serving us, is to feel our block, claim it and name it.
This exercise will help you do that.
I want to help you deeply connect with this exercise.
Imagine being open hearted and opening yourself up to people. Imagine sharing Who You Really Are with them.
It would be very normal that you feel some fear with this.
Now this is what I would like you to do.
I want you to locate (feel into) in your body where you feel that fear. Is it in your throat, heart, solar plexus etc.?
Now I want you to really breathe into that part of you, drop into it and ‘be’ with that scared part of you.
It’s important to understand that this is a ‘young’ part of you – this is a part of you that is the ‘child’. A part of you that doesn’t yet feel safe or capable of generating the ability to look after yourself without defences.
So when you go into this part of you – ask yourself “How old is this part of me who is holding this fear?”
Then I want you to ask this part of you “What is this fear about?”
Then just trust what comes up for you. It may be feelings. It may be a scene that actually occurred at this age. It may be words that come into your head.
Write down the information you receive and you will start getting in contact with that part of you which requires your help, and requires your efforting to evolve this part of yourself in order to generate different connection and relationship experiences.
Before I end this week's email I want to talk to you a little bit about my experience with Quanta Freedom Healing when I started to build my dream life after narcissistic abuse.
Quanta Freedom was my life saver when recovering from narcissistic abuse...
No doubt about it.
But after using it on my own growth - rather than just alleviating the pain of abuse - it changed the way I saw Quanta Freedom Healing forever.
After a life of hard-work trying to grind out my breakthroughs and reach the next level in my personal growth, Quanta Freedom Healing shot my personal empowerment journey into overdrive!
Never had I been able to let go of unhealed wounds and negative subconcious patterns so quickly.
New empowered ways of 'being' that would take me years of heartache and struggle were simply being learnt and integrated within weeks or even days.
I know how powerful Quanta Freedom Healing is and how much it can help you transcend your personal growth and create your dream life after narcissistic abuse.
So this year I created a Course that would allow you to harness the power of Quanta Freedom and do just that.
It’s called the Quanta Freedom Empowered Self Course and it includes 5 Quanta Freedom modules on the 5 key areas I am discussing with you in these newslettersas well as 5 more.
But this isn't just a Quanta Freedom Healing Course - it also contains over 200 pages of journaling exercises that get to the heart of the areas you need to work on within yourself...
It's actually a complete system for your personal empowerment and it's my biggest course to date.
The Quanta Freedom Empowerment Self Course is all about giving you a proven system to follow, so you know exactly what you need to work on, so that you canget the most possible out of your own healing.
If you are interested in starting The Empowered Self Course please note that at end of this series I will be sending out an email with a special link to get started at a NARP members only discount.
So make sure you keep your eyes out for these emails!
I hope you enjoy the rest of this email series.
This is why it is so important to unearth what that wound (fear) is. The way we shift out of previous limiting beliefs and defences, which certainly aren’t serving us, is to feel our block, claim it and name it.
This exercise will help you do that.
I want to help you deeply connect with this exercise.
Imagine being open hearted and opening yourself up to people. Imagine sharing Who You Really Are with them.
It would be very normal that you feel some fear with this.
Now this is what I would like you to do.
I want you to locate (feel into) in your body where you feel that fear. Is it in your throat, heart, solar plexus etc.?
Now I want you to really breathe into that part of you, drop into it and ‘be’ with that scared part of you.
It’s important to understand that this is a ‘young’ part of you – this is a part of you that is the ‘child’. A part of you that doesn’t yet feel safe or capable of generating the ability to look after yourself without defences.
So when you go into this part of you – ask yourself “How old is this part of me who is holding this fear?”
Then I want you to ask this part of you “What is this fear about?”
Then just trust what comes up for you. It may be feelings. It may be a scene that actually occurred at this age. It may be words that come into your head.
Write down the information you receive and you will start getting in contact with that part of you which requires your help, and requires your efforting to evolve this part of yourself in order to generate different connection and relationship experiences.
Before I end this week's email I want to talk to you a little bit about my experience with Quanta Freedom Healing when I started to build my dream life after narcissistic abuse.
Quanta Freedom was my life saver when recovering from narcissistic abuse...
No doubt about it.
But after using it on my own growth - rather than just alleviating the pain of abuse - it changed the way I saw Quanta Freedom Healing forever.
After a life of hard-work trying to grind out my breakthroughs and reach the next level in my personal growth, Quanta Freedom Healing shot my personal empowerment journey into overdrive!
Never had I been able to let go of unhealed wounds and negative subconcious patterns so quickly.
New empowered ways of 'being' that would take me years of heartache and struggle were simply being learnt and integrated within weeks or even days.
I know how powerful Quanta Freedom Healing is and how much it can help you transcend your personal growth and create your dream life after narcissistic abuse.
So this year I created a Course that would allow you to harness the power of Quanta Freedom and do just that.
It’s called the Quanta Freedom Empowered Self Course and it includes 5 Quanta Freedom modules on the 5 key areas I am discussing with you in these newslettersas well as 5 more.
But this isn't just a Quanta Freedom Healing Course - it also contains over 200 pages of journaling exercises that get to the heart of the areas you need to work on within yourself...
It's actually a complete system for your personal empowerment and it's my biggest course to date.
The Quanta Freedom Empowerment Self Course is all about giving you a proven system to follow, so you know exactly what you need to work on, so that you canget the most possible out of your own healing.
If you are interested in starting The Empowered Self Course please note that at end of this series I will be sending out an email with a special link to get started at a NARP members only discount.
So make sure you keep your eyes out for these emails!
I hope you enjoy the rest of this email series.
Much Love xo
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