Your Renewal This Easter

By Melanie Tonia Evans

Easter is upon us again …

How fast is this year going? …

Goodness!

Because Easter is nearly upon us, I wanted to write about “renewal”.

Easter time is a time of re-grouping for me; it feels like a reflective break to plan and reassess.

Easter is traditionally a time of re-birth, re-centring and creating ourselves anew.

It is such divine synchronicity that I am writing more frequent Energy Reports of late on my Facebook page that are all about “renewal”. My posts are about the incredible opportunities that we have to evolve – to break out of the shackles of our old illusions – in order to be the Truest most Joyous Selves we can possibly be.

This Easter can be a time of creation. A time of giving birth to new directions, desires and projects. It’s a time of expanding into the world – led by the parts of our hearts which are saying “This way!” and “Yes, you are good enough for this!”

It’s a time to drop our fear in order to be that.

I feel that we are awakening at warp-speed. We are being called toward our True Selves, and quite frankly humanity and our world needs this.

I feel that something inside all of us is letting us know we can’t just “exist” anymore, something greater needs to take place … and we are being pushed urgently to wake up and become conscious.

Becoming conscious is the calling to actualise Who We Are, and in order to do this we need to let go of the self-defeating limiting beliefs which have crippled us, so that we can claim our rightful space to be ourselves and contribute.

Maybe this Easter is a time for you where you are really starting to think “Who Am I really?”

The Time for Personal Mission Recognition

I don’t believe our calling is about looking for something to “do”, I believe it is releasing and shedding the parts of us that have held us back from “Who I Am Here To Be”.

I believe we are all getting closer and closer to working out Who We Are … often by “default”, because if we are living in opposition to that, the binds are getting very painful and our life is simply not unfolding as we know it could.

Not everyone has a big public mission … And this is all perfect.

Because everyone is unique, and is here for a unique purpose.

Maybe your mission is to impart love, truth and authenticity to your children.

Maybe your mission is to show people what open-hearted authenticity looks like.

Maybe you are here to spread light by being the example of unconditional self-love and self-acceptance that others can warm to and emulate.

Or maybe you have an urge to reform something, bring a specific message to the world, and do your part to evolve consciousness on a collective scale.

As humans we want to expand, we want to create, and we want to share what is inside us with others.

Expansion and growth is a Law of The Universe, which is made up of the identical stuff that we are. If we are not expanding we are not living – we are dying. If we are contracted and stopping ourselves from expanding we are defying the Laws of Nature – and it hurts.

Often we don’t expand into the recognition and actualisation of Who We Are because we have all sorts of false beliefs that allow our egos to pull us away from the truth.

Maybe we did not realise that the disasters of our life were in fact the greatest blessing, creating every environment for us to come home to ourselves and align with Who We Really Are.

And if we don’t, we remain stuck in perceptions such as the following:

“Look at everything I have lost. How are I going to make up that lost ground?”

“My life is a failure because I should have been married with kids by now.”

“Look at so and so, he / she has it all. Great partner, house, family and friends. Why can’t I have that?”

What you may need to understand is this: if you have not achieved these things, and if what you thought was your “dream life” was derailed by a narcissist – then there was a divine reason for why your life has turned out the way it has.

It’s NOT to punish you – it’s to AWAKEN you.

I truly believe that many of us are here for much more profound life journeys than what society would consider as “normal”, “acceptable” or even “successful”.

I know that the magical feelings, inspirations and “knowings” I receive as a result of the connection to my Inner Being – no money or possessions could ever replace …. they would only be False Substitutes to try to get authentic “wholeness” from outside of me.

I also know the open-hearted connections and authentic relationships I now share would never, ever have been possible if it wasn’t for my narcissistic abuse experiences.

And not because I can share events and conversations with other people who have been abused. Rather it’s truly because I have healed, changed and developed in order to show up in life in ways that I just didn’t have the capabilities to before.

As my previous self, I was far too wounded and unconscious to show up authentically, and this includes before being narcissistically abused.

Changing Consciousness to Change Our Life

This I do know  …

If we are stuck in the chemicals of pain and fear, our bodies are contracted, and shut off from “possibility”. In this state we can’t manifest anything beyond the range of painful emotions that we are stuck in.

Getting back to the Law of Nature … if we are contracted, we are not growing, we are not expanding. We are not living, we are merely existing whilst dying.

That used to be my previous life … even before narcissists.

On the outside my life looked great, but on the inside I was always fearful of not being enough, always self-judging my performances, and I truly believed unless I was perfect that I could never be good enough.

(Mind you this is only the tip of the iceberg of my painful stuff!)

None of the painful, disappointing “I am a failure” results of my life confirming my inner beliefs about myself were going to change until I changed these core beliefs. I took two horrendous relationships with narcissists for me to finally break free of these self-generated patterns.

Before then, I was continuing to think and act the same way (unconscious) about certain issues, and I was expecting different results from the same level of consciousness … which of course wasn’t happening.

Finally I woke up to what was REALLY happening in my life from the inside out – and worked hard to make the changes.

Thank goodness!

Similarly this Easter could be your opportunity to decide to change – really change.

This could be the time when you re-new yourself too.

Shifting Painful Beliefs

When we understand that our level of consciousness is everything in regard to whether or not we can effectively re-new our life, we need to get really clear with ourselves.

This clarity is …. “I have the power to change myself”.

In fact YOU are the only person who can change you – and it’s not anyone else’s job. And if they tried to do it for you – you will still remain powerless to change your own life.

One of the greatest human perpetuated myths is “you alone can’t save yourself” … meaning all the power is taken away from self and you need an outside force to “save” you.

The only problem is, then you need to prove yourself to that “force”, that you are worthy of salvation.

Maybe you really feel other people are more worthy…

Or maybe you feel like you haven’t done enough yet to earn this outer force’s devotion …

We struggle with all these doubts and fears with chosen versions of a Higher Power, and we do this with other people.

We certainly assigned the narcissist as our “saviour”. We tried to force him/her to fix our wounds that came screaming up to the surface as a result of the narcissist activating them for us.

This is what I believe – this very force of our own salvation is inside us … and it is only us that needs to believe we are worthy of becoming our whole and True Self.

When we do this work – our worthiness becomes organic. It becomes “just is” … and it’s a beautiful humble open-hearted acceptance of our own True Self.

There is nothing arrogant, entitled or narcissistic about it (those states are “covers” for unworthiness).

To re-new ourselves and our life we have to evolve past beliefs that keep us stuck in “unworthiness”.

This means dropping (or shifting with Quanta Freedom Healing) common self-defeating beliefs that follow on from narcissistic abuse such as these:

“I’m too old”, “I’ve lost too much”, “I am a failure”, “No-one will ever love me”, or “My life is ruined because of (his / her name).”

You may be thinking these self-defeating thoughts repeatedly, which has caused your body to create and secrete matching painful peptides into the cells of your body. This means these self-defeating thoughts have become ingrained belief systems.

If they have become a part of your embodied Inner Identity, this is serious. Because embodied inner belief systems do what belief systems do – they manufacture with life the evidence of the inner beliefs to the letter.

It was really strange for people in this community when I started stating how grateful I was for my narcissistic experience.

Many people thought I was quite ill in the head!

I remember some years ago getting booted out of many abuse forums for saying that – and because I refused to join in the victimised conversations that people had about how much their life was trashed, and how they were now doomed to suffer a,b,c,d.

I knew these feelings felt terrible in my body (letting me know they were WAY off track), and I knew they were only cementing self-defeating Inner Identity belief systems.

There was no way I was going to buy into the continued manufacturing of a life which would contain more pain, more victimisation, more limitation, loss and disasters.

Hadn’t my life with the narcissist created enough of that?

My job was to clean up my beliefs and my Inner Identity – NOT keep the narcissist’s abuse going with my own self-abuse!

The narcissists in our lives were messengers – HUGE reflectors targeting every false and small idea we had about ourselves, life and others.

Fortunately many people in this community caught on to this Higher Purpose concept – and I am so thrilled that every day, without exception, I get emails from people telling me how happy they are, and how grateful they are that they too had the opportunity through abuse to evolve themselves.

Many people in this community (NARP members) have found and rejoice in this gift of evolution.

Gratitude And Inspiration

The truth sets us free … always …

And the truth is: What happened to you happened for a Higher Purpose.

It happened to bring you to the opportunities to come home to your True Self.

We may think our “True Self” is not what we want.

The truth is it is not what our ego wants – because our ego loves creating and feeding off pain and suffering.

Our egoic self is our shadows, our dark disowned parts that we righteously project onto others. This is our internal saboteur – the internal narcissist.

This is the inner self-damning critic who drew the reflection – the actual real life narcissist into our life.

Our True Self state is beyond these feelings and puts our ego out of a job.

When we accept and start moving towards our True Self state, we begin to experience the feelings of authentic joy, peace, purpose and bliss.

Life becomes completely different.

And this state of “completeness” and “peace” comes before the actual manifestations – which is EXACTLY how we have always created every event in our life – from the inside out.

The unconscious creates the conscious always

That’s why it is SO important to start becoming conscious about what is REALLY going on in our unconscious.

So the essential step is acceptance.

“This happened for a reason.”

I really wanted to inject into this Easter article the energy of renewal – the energy of re-birth, New Life and positivity …

Which means changing the way you may have believed your life is unfolding, so that you can place your life on a different trajectory than the one your painful belief systems may be presently creating.

So … to do so, I am sharing with you some of the most wonderful things that have happened in my life as a result of narcissistic abuse. If you are not there yet – I hope this can really inspire you to strive towards this level of consciousness.

The Best Things After Narcissistic Abuse

1) Knowing that I adore growing towards loving myself more authentically every day, rather than jumping through hoops to prove myself, which were continually raised and moved.

2) Hearing the birds singing outside and knowing my day will unfold beautifully, regardless of what does or doesn’t happen.

3) Loving and partnering myself in ways that will never take on anyone’s diminishment of me again.

4) Being able to fully claim my femininity and goddess without feeling owned, controlled or sexualised.

5) Adoring having gorgeous connections in my life, which are open-hearted and authentic without any agenda other than love and connection.

6) Having no fear to show up as myself, and knowing that life forms perfectly around me to match my authenticity, and anything that isn’t dissolves into nothingness.

7) Living the state of “unconditional” – being happiness as an inside job – simply because I exist.

Personally, if it had not been for my abuse experiences – whether I had ever met a narcissist or not – I know my life would have continued to be severely diminished.

When I posted about this Easter Renewal article, others shared on my Facebook Page their “best things after narcissistic abuse”.

I love these messages – and TOTALLY agree …

Not having to say “I’m sorry” that became a habit. I love my whole independence, love who I am, after having that suppressed most of my life … and setting myself free, to be me.

Being able to learn about myself and find myself again, even if it was a new me and meant going through a lot of pain to gets there. Living instead of just existing. Not having to hide my moments of pure joy, of pure bliss. Being unapologetically me.

Well, I am happy to share that I am now happier than ever and busy creating my life in the way that suits me best. I am enjoying a safe, peaceful existence with no drama and I am enjoying my safe peaceful home. Best of all, I can now see when someone or something is toxic to me and am realising that this is not my reality and am choosing to let go of it. I have realised that since there is nothing outside of me to ‘get’ and also that nothing that belongs to me can be lost; well that has made it easier to let go of people because if they are truly meant to be in my life, then they will be, and it will feel good. Everything that is toxic has to go.

Best thing has been falling back in love with myself! Realizing I’m amazing, intelligent, beautiful, worthy, creative, capable, strong … that my emotions are valid …. That I have a Voice! My sweet voice! I can hear it again!!!

Becoming whole! All the energy expelled on the Narcissist Dad has now been shifted to me. I get to parent myself now and who I become is only limited by my perceptions. Extreme personal growth!!!

One of the best things for me, has been feeling okay to make decisions based on what is beneficial to ME, not on what I thought would win love and approval from others. It feels okay to act in my own interests without the fear of being accused of selfishness. In fact … if anyone called me selfish now, I would take it as a major compliment! Yet it used to be the thing I most feared being seen as. Also, living life the way I want, even if others regard it as strange, odd or eccentric. I squashed down my uniqueness and creativity for so many years, just to be what someone else wanted me to be. Narcissistic abuse has been such a gift! Of course I regret having spent decades living in fear and confusion, but recovering from it and thriving is glorious.

The empathy and understanding I’ve gained towards other people and their pain. In the past I was quick to judge others who made less than respectable choices. Now that I’ve had to confront the consequences of my poor decisions and have been forced to recognize my own vulnerabilities, I’m able to understand that it isn’t someone’s stupidity or weakness that puts them in these unfortunate situations, but their pain. So instead of thinking I’m surrounded by idiots and looking down on them, I realize I’m surrounded by kindred spirits who are just hurting much like I was/am. And I’m able to feel compassion and love instead of judgement and scorn.

The truth is this: the narcissistic abuse experience is the prelude to MASSIVE renewal, it is an incredible opportunity for letting go of the illusions which drew us into narcissistic abuse (unconsciously).

It offers us incredible growth, realisation and the ability to reprogram our false beliefs, in order to authentically heal, be set free, move beyond narcissistic abuse and start to enjoy states of being, connection, compassion, love and life experiences that we simply did not have the ability to generate before narcissistic abuse.

My personal journey and life’s mission is all about this – and this is why this Easter Time I wanted to do what I do from time to time – offer wonderful specials – so that you too will be inspired to take this profound healing journey to emancipate yourself from a painful life, and unlock your liberation into your True Self.

- See more at: http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/your-renewal-this-easter/#sthash.WQbk4Cjs.dpuf