A couple of weeks ago, I had the most wonderful evening …
I went to see Bruce Lipton live.
Bruce Lipton is an internationally recognized leader in bridging science and spirit. He is a stem cell biologist, bestselling author of The Biology of Belief and recipient of the 2009 Goi Peace Award.
I love his work, as well as Joe Dispenza’s, as my healing model correlates strongly with both of their work.
Today in my article I want to talk about “Epigenetics.”
You may have never heard the word before …
There are many longer version meanings of the word – but to simplify Bruce Lipton’s description is: “control above the genes”.
You may wonder what on earth does this have to do with narcissistic abuse.
I believe it has a lot to do with it – because it allows us to move beyond being victims of abuse.
It also allows us to realise what we do have the power to change, and what we don’t have the power to change – and how changing our life for real needs to happen.
This science is about how the environment modifies and generates gene activity. This is exciting evolutionary information, and epigenetics is now one of the most active areas of scientific research.
I adore that science and spirituality are now coming together. And what I mean by this is: science is now backing up what spiritualists / self-development advocates espouse – that we are capable of transcending our previous self and life regardless of the families we were born into and the circumstances we have endured.
Darwin and Newton Versus Epigenetics
It’s fascinating when we go back through history and understand what the old science models were teaching us.
Darwin spoke about “survival of the fittest.” He granted us the version of a dog eat dog world. This was a model of separation, and even narcissism – meaning that we had to compete for stuff, resources, significance and love … and if we were not strong enough or able to outsmart the opposition that we would be delegated to the bottom of the food chain.
Darwin’s model also stated that we were all predisposed to “be” a certain way –that we inherited our parent’s genes, which controlled the circumstances of our life.
Regarding the argument of nature versus nurture, there was a strong lean towards nature. DNA was supposed to be responsible for not only our aesthetic acquisitions, but also our emotions and behaviour.
Sadly this model has been put to big use by humankind. The beliefs of separation, narcissism, “war” and helpless victimisation – leading to blaming and shaming people and circumstances outside of us for the state of our life.
There was no scope in this model to evolve. There was also not a tendency to strive for harmony and holistic connection to ourselves, our planet and others.
This made it very difficult to create ourselves anew as higher version of ourselves, on micro or macro levels.
This is huge … really. Because it changes the entire concept of humankind.
Literally – I am not exaggerating.
We can all stay stuck in the old redundant model if we want – but if we look around us we have to admit it’s not working.
Epigenetics is also a model of Quantum Science – a highly complex holistic model of life as opposed to a Newtonian linear model. What is so interesting about Quantum Physics, as Bruce so aptly points out in his book, is that every area of technology which has leapt light years ahead is based on Quantum Physics principals; yet our medical and psychological systems (specific humanity) have not yet been updated.
Epigenetics is the understanding that cells are influenced by their environment, and that they are not predisposed. Bruce Lipton discovered that when stem cells were put into petri dishes containing different environmental fluid that they would develop into bone, fat and other human compositions depending on the environment they were subject to.
As he wrote in his book “The Biology Of Belief” … “ if single cells are controlled by their awareness of their environment so too are we trillion-celled human beings. Just like a single cell, the character of our lives is determined not by our genes but by our responses to the environmental signals that propel life.”
This is really interesting because he discovered that the composition of cells would alter according to an individual’s perception of their environment.
What we discover, when we become self-actualized, is that we don’t have control over other people and things – but we absolutely do have control over ourselves. At a profound self-development level when we decide to change our own cellular chemistry as a result of changing our perceptions, we discover that life in our experience shifts to reflect that.
At the time of Brice Lipton’s stem-cell realisation – when he understood what the ramifications meant for humankind to create a better humanity – he wrote: “I was exhilarated by the new realization that I could change my beliefs. I was instantly energised because I realised that there was a science-based path that would take me from my job as a perennial “victim” to my new position as a ‘co-creator’ of my destiny.”
This is exactly the mission I am so excited about too – for myself personally and for a new model of humanity.
I’d going to talk about that in this article, as well as how epigenetics relates to narcissistic abuse.
Transcending From the Old Into the New
One of the most fascinating things I have learned on my healing path, and whilst working with thousands of other people also healing from abuse patterns, is the power of old programs.
We took on the ways our parents and our parent’s parents did things.
Absolutely this was to do with nature and nurture.
I agree with Darwin from this perspective: we did take on stuff- absolutely. Bruce Lipton also points this out … however we are not stuck in it. We can evolve beyond it.
The world we live in has changed at an incredibly fast rate over the last 50 years. As an example: only in our generation is it common for women to have their own source of income. Our mothers were not usually living this model, and even less so their mothers.
Now, naturally there is no differentiation regarding “having a career” between a female or male child we are raising. In no shape or form would we have our female child leave school and do home duties because her only role would be a mother and wife.
It wasn’t until the late 1800’s early 1900’s that woman had a right to vote, and a right to property, money and even their children in the event of dissolution of their marriages. Until that time it was common for women who had marriages end to have to prostitute themselves to survive. Many women didn’t survive.
Some time ago I watched a documentary about my home town Melbourne where single mothers in the late 1800’s were drowning their babies in the Yarra river because they could not feed them.
No-one would employ these women.
Can we believe that in supposed civilised countries this went on only a little over 100 years ago?
Can we believe that not so long before that, if a woman was thrown out of “the hut” this was a virtual death sentence because she couldn’t hunt or work and provide for herself? At the very least it was highly likely that she would be raped and assaulted because she didn’t have a man to protect her.
Logically, we know conditions are not like this now in civilised countries (sadly in some countries they still are), but have we really been able to evolve cellularly in just a few decades?
This I know: The collective pain body of “women” is still shattered.
No less than the collective pain body of many indigenous species, including Australian Aboriginals, as a result of their treatment from first settlers.
I have found time and time again (and these were big issues for me personally) the powerful beliefs deep in a woman’s subconscious of “Without him I am dead” because “I can’t generate life on my own”… as well as “Without a strong man I am not safe”.
I have done Quanta Freedom Healing sessions with myself and other women – even incredibly financially successful and capable women, who when feeling into and identifying the deep core wounds revealed exactly those excruciating crippling beliefs.
Beliefs that were playing out as emotional panic and obsession keeping them chained to abusive partners.
Any man was better than no man.
(I know that many of your reading this will relate to having emotions that just don’t seem proportionate to the real life situation).
And please guys out there – do know that I know the fear of abandonment is not just applicable to women!
However, the big one for guys is usually not so much “abandonment” as “not being good enough” – not providing enough, not winning enough, and not keeping his woman and children prosperous, happy or satisfied enough,
Lightning speed evolution towards relationships of equality, shared tasks, feminine power and mutuality has not allowed the DNA of men in our age bracket to cope and update. Yet when we look at the young men, my son’s age and younger, we see how beautifully they model “equality” so much easier.
In the old model Darwinian model women just lucked out – we weren’t pretty enough, slim enough, smart enough or sexual enough to make our relationships work. Someone else more capable, smart and desirable than us can make it work so much better than us.
According to the Darwinian Model – if a man didn’t have it going on he failed. You weren’t good enough and someone else who is good enough gets the successful job, the girl, the great family to carry on your name, the accolades and the riches.
Additionally you are a victim of your genetics. If you are depressed and inhibited in life, it is because of the makeup you inherited from your parents. And then the Newtonian linear model steps in, looking at the part of the chain that is not working (depression) and attempting to solve that part of the chain – seeing it as a separate issue or event.
Unfortunately this has led to a legacy of attempting to treat symptoms without addressing the cause, which is no more effective than attempting to eradicate cancer when the reason for cancer developing in the first place is never addressed.
In the epigenetics model we have a lot more hope. It is a holistic Quantum level understanding of the interconnectedness of all things, and the holistic approach to actual causation that is creating manifested results.
Through epigenetics we have the understanding that we can transcend our patterns, we can change ourselves and we can then change our life.
We can go beyond what we have experienced previously.
This is exciting, and it is exactly the model of Thriving after narcissistic abuse that I subscribe to, teach and personally live.
I have personally experienced what it is to be liberated from the old DNA programs that so many people can get snagged in – which used to agonisingly run my life – and I have had the absolute joy of now helping thousands of other people, men and women transcend these too.
This I know 100% … we can revolutionise who we used to be with the understanding of the epigenetics model.
A Deeper Look at Survival Programs
The examples I gave before of women feeling like they will literally die if a partner leaves them are what I call “survival programs”.
There are so many that can get triggered if we have matching wounding in our DNA.
I really want to talk about those in greater depth with you today …
This following information is very relevant in regard to our reactions to narcissistic abuse, and it is very relevant in regard to what we need to transcend in order to reclaim ourselves.
Some time ago survival programs were very necessary.
We needed surges of adrenaline and cortisol to kick in, so that blood could drain temporarily from all areas of our body that could do without it (brain and organs) for extra power to surge to our limbs for fight or flee – and so that our cognitive mind would shut down in order for pure survival instinct to take over.
It was a great short term solution to get up a tree quickly if a predator ran at you.
In survival programs, when we are in high range beta brainwave, and when we are filled with cortisol and adrenaline, we get that surge of “fight or flee” … but unless we have a predator and a tree, what is really required is calm thinking, planning and creating (healthy cognitive thinking).
But at this time we have become really “unintelligent” – the parts of our brain which could have access to solutions and inspiration are shut down. Our thinking is primitive, regressive, fearful and completely personalised.
All we have access to is: “My body is unsafe – it is all about me (victim) and I need to get safe NOW.”
We panic, and unless it is only a short term “thing”, that is then “over”, the anxiety does not leave us and we have no outlet to solutions and better feelings to relieve it.
Beta brainwave is highly destructive for long term health – because cortisol and adrenaline without “Phew that’s over”, trigger off feelings of non-relief … the helplessness, fear, devastation, feelings of loss, fear of more devastation and loss, as well as extreme confusion and heightened feelings of being unsafe in the present and the future.
(Hello C-PTSD.)
All of these powerful surging emotions create peptide addiction. The bigger the surge of emotion, the more the cells of the body become addicted to them. This then creates obsession – the logical mind trying to “beat” these subconsciously driven programs (emotions).
Obsession is highly unsuccessful. Because the brain is in childish / regressed/ non-sophisticated function, and is no match anyway for the complexities of the almighty subconscious which has hijacked 95% of what is firing in our brain.
Rule of thumb is this: Any thoughts we have with high emotional content – if not healthy and great (inspiration /love) – cannot be challenged effectively with the logical mind.
Inspiration and love open up extreme and wonderful “possibility” in the cognitive mind. The subconscious and the cognitive mind team together as a powerful integrated force.
In stark contrast, fear and emotional pain snap that part of the brain off. The subconscious mind and the cognitive are not aligned.
This is when we are SO susceptible to handing our power over. This is when we play right into the abuser’s hands by losing our cool, pleading, prescribing, yelling, wanting revenge, trying to out-smart in ways that don’t work, wanting to expose, wanting to make the person accountable … and all we do is hand the abuser ammunition to shoot us with.
One of the biggest things about N-abuse is we are learning that when we are in high range beta-brainwave nothing good ever gets generated out of it.
The other terrible thing about ongoing swirling, pumping survival chemicals throughout your bloodstream being repeatedly absorbed into your cells is: it is “anti-life”. Your emotions spiral downwards, and these toxic (bad-feeling) chemicals create havoc in your body. They starve nutrients and oxygen, and they put you on a path of chronic deterioration.
A path sadly that most abuse victims are on – with no education, way or process to get off.
The old Darwinian model states “You just weren’t ‘fit’ enough to win”, and the old Newtonian model states “Take a pill to treat your depression / anxiety / torment.”
However new science tells us that we do have the power to change ourselves. We do have the power to heal even a lifetime of abuse.
In order to change we need to unwire the peptide cycle and stop the ongoing damage and feedback loops of obsession and more chemical destruction, in order to get well.
How do we do that – according to epigenetics?
We change our cell’s environment.
How do we change the environment?
We need to understand we have no power to change people or things outside of us.
But we do have the power to change our perception. And to do this we need to change our consciousness.
That is how we create real lasting and powerful change.
I hope this article has helped you realise our world is evolving, and we can evolve.
We are far from powerless, helpless victims. The truth is we are powerful co-creators.
