If I Stay (M)

I'm just saying that if you miss
each other it's okay to reach out.
Okay!

Why do I have this feeling you're
about to mess up my entire life?
A little mess
never hurt anybody.

What are your parents like?
They're not really
a part of my life.
Honestly, I can't remember them ever
being in the same place for a meal.
And if you want to track down the
old man, that's gonna take a while.
So...
Adam.
No, it's cool. I'm good
at being mostly alone.
But that's the thing,
you're not alone.
Not anymore.

No, I love his music.
He writes these
amazing songs, and...
I don't know,
when he comes off stage
I just wanna, like,
lick the side of his face.

I ain't never gonna
shut you out!
Everywhere I'm
looking now
I'm surrounded
by your embrace
Baby, I can see your halo
You know you're
my saving grace...

Being with Adam was
like learning to fly.
It was exciting and scary,
all at the same time.
That spring was
a magical time.

I didn't give anything up.
I played that adventure out,
and then it was time for a
new adventure with you guys.
And sometimes
you make choices in life,
and sometimes
choices make you.
Does that make any sense?

Do you think the band
would ever relocate?
No.
Why?
I don't know.
To see someplace new.
Maybe New York.
I can't imagine. Portland's
where we're from, you know?

I applied to Juilliard.
What?
Yeah,
it's this amazing school.
Yeah, I know
what Juilliard is.
Well, it was just
on a whim.
Isn't it in New York?
Yeah.
Well, why didn't you tell me?
Well, I tried
but I figured, why tell
you until it was real?
Okay. So why you
telling me now?
Well, I got an audition.
In San Francisco.
Wow.
Wow.
Juilliard.
Mia, that's...
Way to go.
That's cool.
Yeah, well, I won't get in.
But it's kind of a big deal
that I even
got an audition.
Most people don't.
Well, Yo Mama better
watch his back. Right?
I can't get you
out of my mind
I can't get you
out of my mind

You still thinking of
applying to Lewis & Clark?
Yeah, of course. I mean, they
have a great music program.
I need someplace
with financial aid.
Maybe we can live around the
corner from each other.
Or we could shorten the commute
and get a place together.
Really?
That actually sounds
kinda perfect.

Well, it's fine. I just wish
you would've told me.
What, like you told
me about Juilliard?
And for the record, I didn't
even hear about the tour
until tonight right
before the show, so...
So that's what "Glad you could
make it" was all about?
That's why you're
so pissed at me?
Why would I be pissed about
you going to a school
I'm not going there, Adam.
It's just an audition.
Which you didn't even
tell me about, Mia!
And besides, this isn't
about Juilliard.
This is about you
ditching on our plans.
You're a liar.
Whoa!
Screw you, Adam! I haven't
ditched out on anything.
Am I crazy,
or did you say that
us getting a place together
would be perfect? Huh?
It's...
No, you know what?
It's fine.
Whatever.
What? You get to
follow your dreams,
but I can't follow mine unless
I have your permission?
And I just have to sit
here and wait around,
hoping that you'll come
home every few weeks?
How is that fair?
You lied to me, Mia.
We had plans.
One minute, it's one thing. The
next minute, it's the other.
I grew up with
that shit, okay?
I don't need it.
Even if I do go
to Juilliard,
we can figure it out.
Baby, we can text
and we can Skype...
Skype?
Skype?
Jesus, Mia!
Have you ever even
had a long-distance
relationship?
It's bullshit.
Okay?
It's like dating a ghost.
But Skype, it solves
everything right?
You know,
you're so naive, man.
You don't know
shit about the world.
I can't believe you
just said that to me.
What, you want me
to write it down for you?
Adam!
Sorry, dude, but we gotta jet
if we wanna make it
to the motel before sunup.
No! No. You cannot
leave me like that!
Why didn't you tell me?
Maybe because I am
terrified of losing you!
You know what? You do your thing.
I'm gonna do mine.
Fine, but for the record, you're
the one who's getting in the van.
Yeah, whatever.

I thought you were
supposed to be, uh,
in Seattle.
No show tonight so I just
thought I'd drive
down for the day.
What's that?
It's a replica.
Of Jolari Hall in San Francisco.
Where you'll be
auditioning for Juilliard.
That's the ceiling.
I put it up there.
It's intense.
Yeah.
I figured,
you know, if you look
at it every night
it wouldn't seem so scary
when you get there.
What do you want, Adam?
Mia, I'm sorry.
I know, I suck.
No, no.
You can't just disappear
from my life like that
and pop back into it
whenever you feel like it.
I know.
It's just,
the people in my life have a
habit of disappearing on me
and when you
started making plans...
You're not gonna lose me.
Adam, I love you.
But these last few days
have been brutal.
I know.
I know.
For me too.
Happy birthday.
Well, at least I know
the wrapping's yours.
Shut up. And just open it.
Come on.
It's a cello and a guitar.
Do you get it?
God, I hate you.

When did you
know you were good?
Oh, I dunno.
Liar.
No! I mean, the guitar!
Come on.
What was, like, the moment?
Actually,
there was one night.
When we first
started playing out.
Right before the show, Liz talked
me into going to the liquor store
and getting her a Red Bull.
So I go in
and there's this drunk dude
buying a bottle of Jack.
And I realize it's him.
It's my old man.
And I just
stop cold.
And he just looks right at me
and walks out.
No idea who I was.
Shit, Adam.
Then that night,
I played like I was on fire.
I don't know if I
thought I was good.
I just knew that
nothing else mattered.
Till now.
Till you.
When I play,
I kind of picture
myself inside the cello.
It's like my little house.
Really?
Actually, no.
I'm totally just
in it for the guys.
Oh.
I got you, didn't I?
Yeah.
Yeah.
How am I supposed to
find the strength to stay?
What would it feel like
to wake up an orphan?
To never smell Dad
cooking pancakes?
To never stand next to Mom quietly
talking as we do the dishes?
But how could I go?
The nurse said
I control this whole thing.
If I live, if I die.
It's all up to me.
And that terrifies me
more than anything else.

You're back.
That was a really
beautiful song, Adam.
It's gettin' there.
How'd it go?
Did you kill the audition?
Are they gonna let you
in on a full scholarship?
I did all right, I guess.
But it's kinda like
playing to statues.
Oh, come on. I bet you did
better than you think.
And if not...
Actually...
Adam, I played better than
I have in my entire life.
It was like I was possessed
and the music, it just...
it poured out of me.
God. I've never felt
anything like that before.
Wow.
I wish I could've seen that.
Yeah, me too.
You know, for once,
I actually felt
like I could do this.
Why didn't you call me
after the audition to brag?
I know I should have, but...
I don't wanna fight, okay?
I know.
I don't wanna fight.
Okay, well, you played better than
you have in your entire life.
We should celebrate.

So how come you've never
written a song for me?
I don't know,
I'm no good at writing
about things that
make me happy.
If you want a song,
you're gonna have to, like,
cheat on me or something.
What do I have to
do for a whole album?
Come on. Don't get greedy.
You know, I don't
think I'll even get in.
There were like
Then I don't have
to choose, right?
But if you do get in, the choice
is already made, isn't it?
Mia, come on. I'm not
gonna be that asshole
that stops you from
going to Juilliard.
If it was me,
you'd let me go.
Yeah, but in a way,
I already have.
You know, you're going
to your own Juilliard.
Yeah, I know.
But I'm still here.
Okay? And I'm still
crazy in love with you.
Yeah, me too.

I can't.
I can't lose her again.
Let's go.
What now?
Well, I gotta get in there.
I gotta see her.
Excuse me.

"Even when they
were just wasting time
"they weren't wasting time.
"It was as if no time they spent
together could ever be wasted. "

Who said that?
Some guy in some book.
And what was he
talking about?
Some couple in some movie.
My point is...
Yes, maestro?
My point is he could have
been talking about us.
That he could.
Promise me.
I promise you.
Wait, what am I promising?
That we'll spend next
New Year's together.
Even if we're in different
places, you'll still be with me.
No, that's not good enough.
Not Skyping,
not texting, together.
Baby, you know we can't
promise each other that.
I guess we both know
where this is heading.
Yeah, I guess so.

Oh, God.
I'm such a mess.
You know, we had this
perfect year and
a half together.
And now, we're just moving
in different directions.
Is it over?
Yeah.
You're supposed to
break up with someone
because you're not
in love with them.
Not because you're completely
in love with them.
But what do I know, right?
I'm only 17.
You know plenty.
It's just very inconvenient to
fall in love when you're 17.
Especially if
it's the real thing.
You know, if we weren't
musicians, we could just...
We could just go
to college together.
You know,
like normal people do.
There's no such
thing as normal, Mia.
Every relationship is rough.
I don't have to tell you that.
Yeah, I know.
Don't blame it on music.
Yeah, but music's the reason
we're breaking up.
That is bullshit, Mia.
You know that.
What am I gonna do?
I am being completely
torn in half.
You're going to
go to Juilliard
and play the hell
out of your cello.
Or you're not.
You're gonna stay with Adam
and have lots of
amazing adventures.
Or you're not.
Or maybe tomorrow, the Earth's
gonna smash into a meteor.
Or it's not.
Life is this big fat
gigantic stinking mess.
But that's the beauty
of it too.
Whatever you do,
I support you.
Either way, you win.
And also either way there's
something that you lose.
What can I say, baby?
True love's a bitch.

I've been trying to think
of what Denny would
want me to say to you.
The kid was a helluva
of dad, wasn't he?
He sure had me beat.
I remember the day
that he quit the band.
He just up and said,
"That's it.
The time has come. "
I was surprised.
I never really liked
the way the band sounded,
but I knew how
important it was to him.
And so I asked him, I said,
"Why are you quitting?"
And he said,
"You make sacrifices
for your kids.
"For your kids. "
He said that
without even blinking.
That's why he quit the band.
For Teddy.
For you.
It was when he heard
you play so well.
I think that's when
it clicked for him.
Your incredible talent, it...
He just couldn't believe it.
And all he wanted to do
was to give you more.
So, he quit the band,
he sold his drum kit
and he bought you that cello.
Sacrifice.
That's what we do for the
people that we love.
And here's mine, Mia.
I want you to live.
I want that more than
anything in this world.
I want you to fight
like hell to stay with us.
But, with everybody
else gone,
I know it might
not be what you want.
It might be too hard for you
to keep fighting, so...
If you wanna go,
I want you to know it's okay.
It's okay.
I understand.
Thank you.

Today is the greatest
Day I've ever known
Can't live for tomorrow
Tomorrow's much too long
I'll burn my eyes out
Before I get out
I wanted more
Than life could
ever grant me
Bored by the chore
Of saving face
Today is the greatest
Day I've never known
Can't wait for tomorrow
I might not have that long
I'll tear my heart out
Before I get out
The thing is,
Mom and Dad
always had their scene.
And Adam had his.
And I was always jealous
because I didn't have mine.
Until the night
of the bonfire.
That was my scene.
That was where I belonged.
That's what
happiness felt like.
But that could
never exist again.
Just after this piece.

Stay.
I know a huge part of your
life is forever ruined
because of what
happened today.
I'm not dumb enough
to think that I can fix it.
You can't.
But I went to your house.
And I had to climb up the balcony
to get in like I used to.
And I found this in
your mail slot.
I totally broke and entered
and stole your mail,
so the Feds might
be comin' after me.
"Dear Mia,
"it gives me tremendous pleasure... "
Mia, you got in.
To Juilliard.
Mia, you did it.
I got in.
And if you want me
to come with you, I will.
Okay, I'll move to New York.
I'll do whatever you want.
Just please stay.
You're my home, Mia.
I don't care where we are.
I just care that
we're together.
I know that now.
I will do anything
if you stay.
I can't.
You know I can't.
I'm still kinda working
on this thing, but...
You wrote me a song.
Breathe deep, breathe clear
Know that I'm here
Know that I'm here
Waiting
Stay strong, stay gold
You don't have to fear
You don't have to fear
Waiting
I'll see you soon
I'll see you soon
How could a heart like yours
Ever love a heart like mine?
How could I live before?
How could I
have been so blind?
So blind
You opened up my heart...
You still have a family.
All your love
Is all I'll ever need
I will do anything
if you stay.
If you wanna go,
I want you to know
it's okay.
How could I live before?
How could I have lived?
Mia.
Take my mind
and take my pain
Like an empty bottle
takes the rain
And heal, heal
Heal, heal
Take my past
and take my sins
Like an empty sail
takes the wind
And heal, heal
Heal, heal
And tell me some
things last
And tell me some
things last
Take my heart
and take my hand
Like an ocean takes
the dirty sands
And heal, heal
Heal, heal
Take my mind
and take my pain
Like an empty bottle
takes the rain
And heal, heal
Heal, heal
And tell me some
things last
And tell me some
things last
And tell me some
things last
And tell me some
things last
I spend these hollow nights
All alone
Safe from the looking glass
That you kept home
Let's go
I saw the sea and knew
It was a mirage
It wasn't even so
I played the odds
Full of black and blues
From all the nights with you
I never wanted to go
I don't want you anymore
I don't want you to
feel the same as me
I never wanted to go
But now I'm letting you know
I just wanted to feel
The life in me
I went from solid steel
To broken glass
The darkest side in me
You brought out fast
The things I said were true
I'm taking them
back from you
I never wanted to go
I don't want you anymore
I don't want you
to feel the same as me
I never wanted to go
But now I'm letting you know
I just wanted to feel
The life in me
I miss you
I wish you
Will let me be
Just leave it
We stopped breathing
I need to be free
I never wanted to go
But now I'm letting
you know
I just wanted to feel
The life in me

ADAM

Mia, Mia, Mia. Don’t you get it? You’re

the same you I liked yesterday and the

same you I’ll like with tomorrow.

(beat)

You’re one of the punkiest girls I know,

no matter what you wear or listen to.

ADAM

Mia, Mia, Mia. Don’t you get it? You’re

the same you I liked yesterday and the

same you I’ll like with tomorrow.

(beat)

You’re one of the punkiest girls I know,

no matter what you wear or listen to.